My New Assignment from My Higher Self

Today I started reading a book called Spiritual Growth, Being Your Higher Self.  I had purchased this book almost a year ago, but had not started to read it until now.  I had loaned it to a friend right after I purchased it.  I think I was not ready for its teachings.  I have just completed my huge forgiveness and healing assignment from my Higher Self.  I think I needed to complete that before moving forward and reading this book. 

I have been off the past week.  I’ve been off spiritually and emotionally.  We just had a full moon and a friend pointed out to me that it is possible the moon put me out of balance.  I feel this is what happened. 

A few weeks ago, I also started a diet and exercise regiment.  This last week I had not followed it and that contributed to me feeling like complete and utter crap I believe! 

Today I pulled myself out of my funk and forced myself to do 18 minutes on the exercise bike. My stomach was bothering me and hurt really bad. I asked Archangel Raphael to help me feel better so that I could do the exercise.  I immediately felt better!  I usually read when I do the exercise bike.  Since I finished the last book I was reading, I decided to start reading Spiritual Growth.  I have actually been planning for at least a week, maybe two, to finally start reading it!  I felt even better once I was done exercising as well.  I made myself an orange and peach Greek yogurt smoothie.  I felt inspired to sit on my back patio and read the book some more.  The more I read, the better I felt. 

Throughout the book, there are meditations.  After I finished the first section I went inside to my office to do the first meditation, which is a meeting with your Higher Self.  I immediately felt my vibration rising as I conducted this meditation.  I conversed with my Higher Self and asked some questions.  My first question was if I had completed the forgiveness assignment fully.  My Higher Self confirmed that I indeed had fully completed the assignment.  My Higher Self was very happy about this.  I then asked what I should work on next, what is my next assignment.  She told me that I must focus on exercising and dieting.  I’ll admit I am a little disappointed that this is what I am to focus on at this time after such a wonderful spiritual growth experience from the reiki healing and forgiveness.  What my Higher Self told me rang true however.  She told me that I cannot stay in a high vibration very long in my current body.  It is too heavy, too grounded.  As she told me this I actually was becoming very uncomfortable from the higher vibration.  It was even slightly painful.  She said my body is not ready for the higher vibrations like the one I was experiencing. 

I know that there are many opinions and debates out there as to whether diet affects spirituality.  I have looked into this and done research.  I do not agree nor disagree with what I have found thus far.  I have always felt like what I eat has always affected me more than physically.  Once I started becoming psychically aware, I started to feel intuitively that my diet and health was holding me back.  My conversation with my Higher Self confirmed this for me today.  Now, please don’t misunderstand what I am explaining here.  This was from my Higher Self to me.  This does not necessarily mean that it applies to everyone else, let alone anyone else but me.  Every single person is different and has different trials and things to go through for growth.  I just know without a doubt that this is what I need to do for me and my spiritual growth.  If it rings true for someone else and helps them grow, then great!  However, I am not stating that this is necessary for anyone who wants to achieve spiritual growth and growth in awareness.  I will be very happy to reap the physical rewards as well as the spiritual from this assignment!

So, I will keep you all posted on my progress and also of anything else spiritual that comes up.  Right now I just have to remember that not giving up is key.  As long as I don’t give up, I will succeed!

March 26, 2013 - Day 30 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – none

Today I started the reiki session and closed my eyes.  I did not feel the reiki energy flow start. As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw my main reiki guide.  She put a hand on my hands and pushed them down gently.  She shook her head and told me I did not need to send the reiki.  I asked her if it was complete then.  She nodded again and said yes.  She smiled at me then faded away.  So, my assignment is completely done.  I felt that it had been complete a few days ago.  I wanted to be sure though, and my guide gave me that confirmation today.  I feel more complete myself, healed.  I feel as though something inside me has shifted and I feel more at peace.  I am very grateful to my Higher Self for asking me to do this forgiveness healing.  I needed to do this for myself.  No one else could have done it for me.  I know I have a great deal many other things that I need to heal within myself.  Everything must be done one step at a time.  Looking back at the past year, I have truly grown by leaps and bounds.  Looking at myself over the past month, I have grown more than in the last six months.  However, I still feel I have a long ways to go.  This does not surprise me though as growth is eternal.  There is no end to how much a person can grow.  This last week of the forgiveness and healing was the most challenging and difficult.  It almost seemed like a part of me did not want to let the remaining pain go.  A part of me wanted to hold onto it because it was all I had left of him.  Now, I see the truth though.  I do truly love him, just as I love everyone in the universe; and even though I had heard the saying that if you truly love someone, you let them go, I did not fully understand that statement before now.  I get it now.  I did let him go, and I let him go with peace, love and light.  A heavy burden has been lifted from my shoulders and I am a lighter person. 

I hope that by sharing this experience with you all, that it will help others too.  I believe we can all learn and help each other.  I am truly surprised at how much this blog has been viewed.  Thank you all my readers for reading and supporting me.  I want to continue to share my experiences with you all, and hope I can help others grow too. 

Love Light Peace

Bear Raven

March 25, 2013 - Day 29 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – none

Today was pretty much the same as yesterday.  I did not see anything, or feel anything other than the calmness of the reiki.  I did not even feel compelled to do the reiki in my office near my altar or to even use any crystals.   It felt like he and his wife were going farther and father away from me.  The distance was so great today; I did not feel them or sense them at all.  I have noticed that their energies have been harder and harder for me to focus on.  I am not seeking them out.  Before when I thought of them to focus sending the reiki to them, I picked up on them so quickly.  Now, they are not there at all.  It’s almost as if this is my guides’ way of telling me that I no longer need to send them the reiki.  I want to follow my Higher Self’s directions completely though.  I will follow through until the end.

March 24, 2013 - Day 28 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Celestite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Sardonyx (nearby), Moonstone (nearby)

Today I felt even more disconnected from him and his wife.  Up until the past couple days, I felt a connection to them and to the love I was sending them.  Today I saw nothing as I channeled the reiki.  I felt its calm loving energy, that is all.  When I felt the energy stop, I blessed and sealed the session.  Today’s session was about 5 minutes.  Although the 30 days is not yet up, I feel like my assignment is complete.  After having such a strong connection to them for so many days, this feels strange, but almost as if I knew it was coming to be like this. 

March 23, 2013 - Day 27 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Celestite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Sardonyx (nearby), Moonstone (nearby)

Today I did not feel the urgency to conduct the reiki as I had felt in all the other sessions.  I saw the house and poured the reiki and light into it.  I sent hearts of light into the house as well.  I felt the reiki flowing but it was not as strong as it had been before.  I saw the energy stop flowing before I felt it stop.  I blessed and sealed the session.  Today’s session was about 6 minutes.

March 22, 2013 - Day 26 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Celestite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Sardonyx (nearby), Moonstone (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Today I saw the house again.  I poured more love and light into the home.  Green vines and white flowers sprouted from the ground under the home and around it.  The vines and flowers spread inside the house growing over all the walls and ceilings.  A beautiful green and gold tree with white flowers grew up in the center of the house.  I blessed the tree to be a guardian, a protector of the home and the family.  I saw the children running through the house laughing.  It seemed they could see the magical plant life within their home.  I put giant heart shields around the entire home.  White light sprouted from the ground under the house and spread around it, almost reaching the neighboring homes.  I saw drops of blackness leaving the home through the doors and windows.  The house was being cleansed.  I made sure to put a white shield bubble around the entire property.  I also put an invisibility shield around all the other shields so that the light of the home will not attract things.  Once I felt the home was completely cleansed, guarded and shielded.  I put individual white shields of light around him, his wife and their three children.  I heard and saw five white beams of light come down from the sky and into each of them, filling them with healing light.  I walked up to him and handed him a white rose.  I told him I wished him and his family peace, love, light, prosperity, happiness.  I also told him I forgive him and that I hope he lives his life happily and grows to be the great man I know he can be.  I told him to go, shine, grow, learn your life lessons and I hope to see him again as one being of light to another.  I saw a small spark of light shine in his chest and he took the rose silently.  I smiled, bowed and turned and walked away quietly.  After I walked out of the house, my main reiki guide was there waiting for me.  She put her arm in mine and we walked away together.  I knew that this session was now over.  I blessed and sealed the session.  Today’s session was approximately 8 minutes.

March 21, 2013 - Day 25 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Celestite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Sardonyx (nearby), Moonstone (nearby) Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

In today’s session I did not experience very much.  I was in a lot of pain today.  The pain was so excruciating that it made it difficult to focus.  I did a reiki session on myself first, and that helped quite a bit.  However, the pain was still there distracting me.  As I channeled the reiki energy to him and his wife, I saw a house instead of them.  Heart shaped bubbles of different colored light floated down from the sky into and around their house.  I just knew by my gut feeling that it was their home I was seeing.  The heart bubbles created a shield around the home.  Pink and green light filled the house completely.  I kept channeling the energy until I felt it stop on its own.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 6 minutes.

March 20, 2013 - Day 24 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Celestite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Sardonyx (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Today I think was shown the beginning of the end of this healing process.  As I started channeling the reiki energy, I saw him and his wife kneeling in position.  This time we were at the very top of a peak of a snow drifted mountain.  The top sloped up the back at a gradual incline.  The other side was a cliff drop off.  We were facing the cliff side.  I could see more mountains and sky all around us.  I placed my hands on his shoulders.  As the reiki flowed, the snow started to melt dramatically and slide down off the cliff like a water fall.  She started to slide with the water, panic on her face.  He remained calm and unchanged.  She reached out to him with an arm as she started to slide closer and closer to the edge.  He slid toward her, reaching to grab her.  I remained where I was standing, unaffected.  I kept my palms towards him, sending the reiki.  He grabbed her forearm just as she went over the side.  He was lying on his belly, holding onto her.  She was screaming and flailing.

He asked her, “Do you trust me?”

She shook her head no and was crying. 

He looked strained and asked her again, “Do you trust me?”

She screamed, “No, I’m going to fall!”

As they had this conversation, I wove a ribbon of light blue light around their arms and wrist, tying them together, reinforcing their bond.

He gritted his teeth and said in a very commanding voice to her, “I need you to trust me.”

Something in the way he said it made her stop flailing and look into his eyes.  I could clearly see the fear.  She held still and gripped his arm in return then nodded yes.  As soon as she nodded, she started to float up in the air.  Her legs rose so that she was in the same position he was, on her belly facing him.  She let out a short relieved laugh and he smiled at her.  All she needed to do was trust him, give him that trust and she was safe.

I found this very interesting.  As I pondered this, I then saw her standing in front of an oval floor mirror that was very dirty.  She wiped a hand across the top so she could see her face.  I saw a beautiful young woman with long curly blonde hair.  She looked peaceful.  My vision panned out and I saw a different woman standing in front of the mirror.  It was a deformed, ugly woman in dirty clothing.  She was in an attic that was dusty and there was clutter around.  She was snarling and had sharp pointed teeth.  Her stringy hair hung around her face so I couldn’t see it too well.  Then I saw the peaceful beautiful woman in the mirror again where the dirt had been wiped away.  I think what this meant is that she is transforming.  She had (or has) some ugly traits that are beginning to fade or transform through healing.  I cannot say my healing is doing this for her or not.  I just think that this is what is going on with her at this time. 

I was taken back to the mountain.  The top was covered in green grass now that all the snow had melted and fallen off.  He and his wife were standing a few feet apart.  Three orbs of white light flew down between them one at a time.  It was their three children.  They all hugged in a tight group hug, almost forming a ball.  I drew down white light, purple light, pink light, and gold light and created an egg shaped shield, or cocoon around them.  They all linked hands and then stepped off the mountain cliff.  As they stepped off, they dipped and floated into the air, on their bellies.  Wings of light sprouted from all of them.  I saw one of the children in detail.  It was a little girl with long curly auburn hair.  She giggled excitedly and wriggled her feet. 

This was not the first time I had seen her.  I saw her in a dream I had long ago.  It was a dream I had after praying and praying about him after he had broke up with me.  I thought the dream was a look at my future.  I thought she was my daughter.  I have not told many about this dream as it is quite personal and emotional for me.  Seeing her with him and his wife and the two boys, I knew.  She was never mine, she was always his.  This brought a strange new sense of closure and peace to me.  I watched them fly off into the clouds and disappear.  I turned to leave, to walk down the mountain. At my feet I saw a white mink, my mink.  I picked her up and she nuzzled my neck and face.  With her on my shoulder, I started to walk down the slope of the mountain.  Then I saw my main reiki guide and she clapped her hands together once, smiling.  She gave me a soft hug and told me that I am doing so well.  I knew that this was the end of the session.  I blessed and sealed the session.  Today’s session was approximately 6 minutes.

The feeling I felt at the time of walking down the mountain’s back, leads me to believe I am drawing closer to the end of the assignment.  I know in my mind that it is getting close to the end because I know I only need to do it for 30 days.  However, up until today I hadn’t really felt like the end was drawing near.  The sessions had all left me feeling about the same, except for today.  Today I feel closure.  I always felt peace during and after every session, but today I felt closure.  I also felt like he and his family are ready to go their way and I am ready to go mine, peacefully.

March 19, 2013 - Day 23 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Shiva Lingham (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Ametrine (nearby), Sardonyx (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

I feel very light headed today.  I used the sardonyx for my grounding and shielding meditation and it made me light headed.  The reiki continued to make me light headed.  This is normal when reaching higher vibrations.  When I started to channel the reiki I saw an instant huge beam of light running through me.  I saw him and his wife kneeling and I placed one hand on his shoulder and one on hers.  The bright light flowed into them immediately.  I felt the energy very strongly.  I grew tired quickly as well.  I saw them dancing.  He was in a tux and she was in a wedding dress but it had black roses all over it.  They were very stern and serious looking. Small threads of light were dancing around them and through them. They started to smile and he picked her up in his arms.  As he did so, the threads of light wove through her dress and the black roses started to turn to white roses.  Then I saw the ocean again.  This time they dove in the ocean, it was night, I saw the moon.  They sank to the very bottom of the ocean.  Their legs went into the sand at the bottom until they were waist deep in the sand.  I started to doze at this point and I saw other things but I can’t recall all of them.  I heard conversation and saw people inside a submarine, or other type of underwater vessel.  They were trying to solve some sort of problem.  I was there with them. It was like I was part of them.  I saw some other things that I can’t remember.  Then I saw him and her standing on the beach facing each other in the moonlight.  They had their hands up in front of them, palms out.  Their hands were touching, palm to palm.  A spark of light appeared between them around their stomachs.  It grew into a ball, and the ball grew into and orb until it engulfed them.  It grew so big and bright that all I saw eventually was this bright star.  Then I felt the energy shift and I knew the healing was complete for today.  Today’s session was about 8 minutes. 

March 18, 2013 - Day 22 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Shiva Lingham (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Ametrine (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

In today’s session I definitely nodded off.  But I still saw things as I slept.  I saw him and her kneeling again, as is custom now.  I put my hands on his shoulders as the healing began.  I started to see many different flashes of different things that didn’t make sense or seem related to him or her that I know of.  I can’t really recall what they even were, just that they were strange things to see.  At one point I did see myself and him standing about 6 feet apart.  There was a silver cord connecting us.  I was holding a pair of scissors to the cord.  I heard one of my guides tell me to go ahead and cut it.  I focused on the cord and noticed that there was a difference on color so that it actually looked like two different cords connected.  The one on my end was only a foot maybe a foot and a half long and it was lighter in color I think.  It might have even been more silver.  The rest of the cord that extended from the end of mine to him filled the rest of the space between us, 5 feet or so.  His was darker in color, maybe more blue.  As I was studying this and not cutting the cord, my guide continued to speak.  My guide told me to release him, to let him go.  It was then, and only then, I truly realized that I had never truly let him go…

My guides encouraged me and told me that this was a good thing for both of us.  I went ahead and cut the cord where mine and his met.  My cord, free from his, sucked itself into my belly button.  His cord did the same, returning to inside him.  I felt a surge of the reiki energy right as this happened.  I could feel a difference inside me.  It felt good.  I focused on just relaxing and continuing to let the reiki flow and then I saw my rhino’s nose right in front of me.  I focused on him, and saw the rest of him.  He nuzzled me and I gave him a big hug.  It felt like he was there to comfort me and acknowledge what I had just done.  After a few more moments, I felt the surge of reiki energy end and I saw my main reiki guide brushing her hands together (as one does when done with some hard work).  It was at this time that I snapped my eyes open and woke up.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 10 minutes.

March 17, 2013 - Day 21 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Shiva Lingham (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Ametrine (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

In today’s reiki session I saw the ocean again.  Turquoise light flowed into both him and her again as well.  I saw the flowers floating on the surface of a large wave.  The flowers were multi colored.  I saw them kneeling in the sand with one of my guides laying a white seashell on each side of them.  One shell was laid for each direction, North, South, East and West.  Seeing this again reminded me that I had seen it in yesterday’s session as well.  Then I saw empty blackness and there were people standing in the shadows.  One by one they began to emerge so I could see their faces.  Not everyone stepped forward, but the few that did I recognized as people I had blamed for ruining my relationship with him.  The things they had said to me, they were repeating.  I was focused on their moving lips, on the words that had hurt me.  Then I felt the reiki healing them and me at the same time.  It was as if the reiki was erasing, or healing their words.  The reiki healed that aspect that was a part of the whole negative experience.  Then it was over quite quickly.  I saw turquoise light again, floating in a big ball, and then I formed it into a heart around him and her.  They stood, turned around and walked away down the beach hand in hand.  I felt the energy flow cease.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 6 minutes.

March 16, 2013 - Day 20 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Shiva Lingham (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Ametrine (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Today I saw some interesting things during the session.  It wasn’t like yesterday’s experience, but that was a whole journey.  As soon as I started channeling the reiki today, I saw a huge ocean wave with white flowers floating on it come rolling down on top of him and his wife.   I saw them running hand in hand into the wave, smiling and laughing.  As it washed over them, it was healing and cleansing them.  I could feel this.  I could also tell that they both needed grounding and that is another reason they needed the healing of the ocean, and I could feel that is was indeed grounding them.  The flowers looked like white roses at first, but they changed into lilies.  The water was a beautiful light blue and turquoise color.  I saw the beach and smelled the ocean air, the salt.  I even saw the sun high in the sky shining brightly.  They ran along the beach, swam, playing together.  They even swam out past the waves and floated on their backs peacefully in the water.  Then they were kneeling on the sand and I put my hands on his wife’s shoulders.  I was drawn to her.  Very light turquoise light flowed into and surrounded her like a bubble.  Then I started to hear squabbling and saw a mouth that was being hurtful, like a weapon with words.  I just knew it was hers and she had been hurting him with it.  I continued to let the reiki flow and do it’s healing.  I saw light surround and fill her mouth.  I saw their hands holding again and I put bands, like ribbons, around their hands and wrists, tying them together with healing light.  I then saw them fighting again, pointing fingers at each other.  I used the light to draw a cord between them, connecting them.  I wrapped the same blue, turquoise light ribbon around the cord securing it with healing light.  The fighting stopped after a little while.  I saw tropical mountains, like Hawaii or New Zealand.  It was raining.  The three of us were standing on the beach and the rain poured down on all three of us.  It felt cool, refreshing and healing.  The rain drops were large.  The raindrops started to turn into money right before they reached us, and all three of us started catching the money!  I was pleasantly surprised by this.  I have been praying for more abundance and also wishing for abundance for him and his wife as well.  I have been asking that they be prosperous in all aspects of their lives.  So, seeing this was quite reassuring.  I started running, we all started running.  We were running over the sand, over hills and hills of it.  We picked up more speed as we went and kept catching the money out of the air as we ran.  It felt good, the wind on my face and in my hair.  I then saw a large ball of light green, the turquoise healing light and felt the energy flow stop.  I blessed and sealed the session.  Today’s session was approximately 6 minutes.

March 15, 2013 - Day 19 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Shiva Lingham (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Ametrine (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

During today’s reiki session I actually went on a journey.  I did not intend for this to happen, it just did.  I hope I can remember everything to share with you all.  I started the session the same way I do everyone.  I pictured him and his wife kneeling side my side in front of me.  I placed my hands on his shoulders.  Rainbow light came down and filled him immediately.  He was holding her hand and the light spread to her also.  After a few moments I saw a bunch of Native Americans in a circle around us.  My Native American guides were among them.  The others I did not recognize.  They were dancing, drumming and chanting.  Then I saw a large bonfire next to us, in the center of the circle.  As the ritual continued, I saw fire embers burning parts of him and his wife.  It was not to harm them, although it looked painful.  It seemed to be a cleansing fire.  There was a long oval being burned on her forearm.  His tongue was being burned out.  There were spots elsewhere on them but those were the two main ones my eyes were drawn to.  As those spots burned, they turned to ash quickly and floated away.  Then, white light appeared where they had been burned.  The white light healed the burns fully.  They held fingers to the wounds as they burned and as they healed.  Wonder, astonishment and pain filled their eyes. 

Once they were fully healed, I saw a long dark tunnel with white light at the end of it.  The three of us were running through the tunnel.  Once we made it out of the tunnel, we were in a beautiful meadow.  It was very closed in.  There seemed to be walls around it.  It might have been walls of forest.  I am not sure because my eyes were drawn to the center.  In the center was the largest most beautiful tree I had ever seen.  It had a very tall thick trunk that had white and gray bark.  The bark looked just like the bark of a willow tree.  The tree might have been a willow, but it did not have the long swaying leaves.  It was very tall.  I walked to the tree admiring it.  He and his wife knelt on the grass together, side by side.

A rhino walked near the tree and towards me.  I recognized it immediately.  Only once or twice, I have seen a rhino nose to nose with me.  It never talked to me, but I strongly feel it is one of my animal totems.  The rhino stopped once it was standing right in front of me.  The tip of its horn sparkled a bright white star of light.  I saw myself reach out and touch the tip of its horn with the tip of my index finger.  The light disappeared and the rhino dipped its head, almost as if to bow or acknowledge what just happened.  The rhino wandered off, but stayed nearby. 

I then noticed that there were a large number of people in the meadow.  I did not recognize any of them.  They seemed to be strangers, or public.  Some were just sitting around talking.  Others were wandering around seeming to be going somewhere.  It felt like they were visiting the meadow like as a park or as tourists.  Some of the people were going up to the tree and using pocket knives to cut away pieces of the bark from the trunk.  As I saw this, I noticed an area of the trunk with a rather large piece of bark missing.  The wound in the trunk was completely white.  I felt pain in my heart for the tree seeing this.  Why were people cutting pieces from it?  I did not like this at all.  Then he rose from his kneeling position on the grass and walked up to the tree, right to the spot where a large piece of bark was missing.  He had the missing bark piece in his hand and he put it back.  Instantly I knew that the tree was me, or a part of me, and the pieces of bark being cut off were wounds of my soul.  I felt something as he did this.  I can’t explain it, but it felt like healing.  That is the best way I can put it.  It didn’t feel bad, but it didn’t feel great either.  It was more of a good feeling, but not super.  Then he nodded to me and slowly walked back to where his wife was kneeling and knelt beside her again. 

My rhino stepped forward then and dipped its head again, towards my finger that had touched its horn.  It was as though the rhino put the thought in my head, but I knew what to do.  I stepped up to the tree.  Upon being closer I noticed a crack starting at where the piece had been put back and going all the way up the tree as far as I could see.  This made perfect sense to me.  I had known for a long time that his wound he left had left terrible damage in me.  I slowly reached out and touched the replaced piece of bark with my index finger.  Immediately the same white sparkling star of light emanated from my finger tip as soon as I touched the tree.  A green vine of ivy started growing around the wound and up through the crack.  White flowers sprouted from the vine and there was also white and green light around the vine.  I smiled.  I turned to face him and his wife and I placed a bright green heart of light around them both.  They accepted it and then stood, nodded to me and walked away hand in hand. 

I felt the energy flow stop then.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 8 minutes.

I am so grateful that my rhino came to me during this journey.  I am so grateful that I journeyed during this reiki session!  This is not the first time that I have gone on a journey when I was not intending to do so.  I think they just happen when I am ready and when they are needed.  I am amazed by this journey.  It was such a beautiful experience.  I saw myself being healed by me!  I feel healed too.  Some of the things from the journey I do not understand yet, but I know I will upon meditation and conversation with my guides when the time is right.

March 14, 2013 - Day 18 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Today I was inspired to hold my apophyllite between my hands while sending the reiki.  I felt a lot of heat around me as I channeled the reiki.  As I sent my thoughts of forgiveness and love, I saw myself placing a large bouquet of wild roses at his feet.  The roses were white, yellow and baby pink.  It wasn’t a typical bouquet.  The roses were laid flat and it looked more like a table center piece.  I saw a tropical forest today.  He and his wife were floating on their backs in the river.  I had my hands on his shoulders as they slowly floated down river.  After a little bit, I switched and put my hands on her shoulders.  It felt like the reiki grew stronger for her.  Perhaps she needed more than him today.  It also rained on us.  It was a refreshing rain that felt very good.  It felt loving.  There was a waterfall also and the water and the rain turned baby soft pink.  Large amounts of hearts of all colors floated down onto us on the river.  It was very beautiful and I just felt love all around us.  I didn’t feel the reiki flow really stop today, but I instantly grew very tired.  As soon as this happened my main reiki guide let me know it was time to end the session.  I blessed and sealed the session.  Surprisingly after the session my apophyllite crystal was only luke warm.  With all the heat I felt, I had expected it to feel hot.  Today’s session was about 7 minutes.

March 13, 2013 - Day 17 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Once again I found myself nearly dozing during my reiki session.  I saw a little more today then I have seen the past few days.  I put my hands on his shoulders in my mind.  White sparkling light came down filling him and his wife.  Then thousands of soft pink hearts came down and filled them and surrounded them entirely.  The hearts just kept coming.  I sent thoughts of forgiveness and love while channeling also.  I do that every day as this is a forgiveness exercise for me.  After a little while I was drawn to one of her organs.  I think it was the liver but it could have been the appendix or spleen.  I filled dark spots on it with blue light.  I saw the grid orb of the organ and started filling the black lines with bright turquoise light.  It was more of a green light that had started as blue but gradually turned to green.  I put a lot of light into the orb and the organ.  Soon I felt the energy change and I saw my main reiki guide brushing her hands together and smiling.  I knew this meant we were done for today.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was about 6 minutes.

March 12, 2013 - Day 16 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), rose quartz (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Today’s session was very calming to me.  I almost fell asleep during the session.  I didn’t see a whole lot today.  I thought I saw the wife holding papers in her hand and I heard them both talking about taking her to the hospital.  This was a brief visual/auditory experience as it happened while I was dozing off and ended as soon as I sort of woke with a start.  Maybe I started to dream, or maybe I saw their current situation.  It is all speculation at this point and intuition.  Overall, I feel this was another beautiful session.  I just feel very relaxed and serene.  I wasn’t sure if I felt the energy flow stop, so I asked my guides to give me a sign if it had stopped.  Right after I asked, my dog let out a very short and soft growl.  I think that was my sign.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was about 7 minutes.

March 11, 2013 - Day 15 - The Halfway Point - Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), rose quartz (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Before I did my reiki today, I meditated and visited my higher self.  Before I could even ask her any questions, she said I am “doing beautifully”.  I asked her if it mattered which kind of reiki method I used for my forgiveness exercise and for healing myself.  To both she said, “It does not matter.  All that matters is intent.”  I felt so much love during the entire meditation, love that I desperately needed.  I brought up the wild child I had seen, my inner child.  I merely thought of it, she responded to my thoughts.  She told me that yes indeed I had seen my inner child.  I asked what I should do about it.  She just smiled knowingly and told me that I already know and that I am right on track.  She hugged me several times and comforted me.  It was so pleasant being loved by myself like that.  I can’t truly put it into words.  My heart swelled with warmth of unconditional love.  I asked her if she had any other messages for me before I left.  All she told me was to keep healing myself with reiki every day too.  Then she said that I need a lot of healing.  I knew this was true.  I took out a magenta rose and handed it to her.  She smiled the same knowing smile at me and then she led me to leave. 

Then I did my reiki sessions for the day.  I felt the reiki immediately after I called it in.  I felt it in my head and root chakra then felt it flow through my heart chakra to my palms.  Same as I always do, I sent loving thoughts of forgiveness, love, peace, harmony, well wishes, etc. while channeling the reiki.  I saw him and his wife kneeling facing each other on a giant magenta rose.  I had my hands on his shoulders, letting the reiki flow into him.  After a short period of time, I felt the reiki flow stop.  I wanted to continue channeling it, but knew I felt it stop.  I was going to reach for my pendulum to confirm, but then I remembered my main reiki guide is trying to teach me to trust myself.  I asked myself if I had felt the flow stop.  Yes, I most certainly had.  So, I went ahead and blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 6 minutes.

Part of me can't believe it has already been 15 days...  I feel like I have already healed and grown so much!  The other part of me feels like, "That's it?  That's all you've accomplished?  You got a long way to go missy!"   Looking at all the anger, hatred, resentment, and spite I was holding onto so tightly in my heart for the last almost 11 years, I truly have come a long way already.  All those emotions are no longer connected to this man and his wife for me.  I do not even feel them existing in me any more.  I only feel unconditional love for them, as I do for every living thing and beings of light.  I hope their lives are improving as much as mine is, even more so!  Today marks the halfway point.  I feel like there is still a huge enlightenment, or growth spurt coming that will be a direct result or related to this...  I am looking forward to it.  =)

March 10, 2013 - Day 14 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby)

I did today’s session later in the evening.  I have felt tired and off all day, but I was not going to let that interfere with my reiki session.  I felt the reiki right away after I called it in.  I placed my hands on his shoulders.  He and his wife lied down on a beach.  The ocean waves rolled in and partly under them.  I didn’t see anything else.  I began to feel more tired than I have felt all day and then felt the reiki flow end.  I reached for my pendulum to confirm as I always do.  But this time I felt I should ask my main reiki guide directly, so I did.  She told me that yes, I have sent enough reiki for today.  She asked me if I felt the flow stop.  I told her yes and she told me that I have no reason to use the pendulum then.  She told me to be more confident.  This made a lot of sense.  I blessed and sealed the session. Tonight’s session was about 7 minutes.

March 9, 2013 - Day 13 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby)

Today I am very tired and drained.  I did not see anything in today’s session.  However, I did feel the reiki on my hands strongly.  I feel even more drained after the session.  Once I felt the flow stop, I used my pendulum to confirm that I had sent enough for today.  I got a no, so I continued to send reiki.  After a few more minutes I felt a change in the energy and asked again.  This time I got a yes.  I blessed and sealed the session.  Today’s session was approximately 10 minutes.

March 8, 2013 - Day 12 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

I used the Kundalini Reiki method again today as I feel more in tune with it.  I did not see much today, but that does not matter.  What matters is the intent and feeling of peace.  I feel very calm, serene, in harmony with the world.  Of course, I am finding I always feel this way when I do reiki.  =)  I did see him holding his wife, hugging her tenderly in a consoling or comforting way and rocking back and forth.  I also saw a bunch of little hearts of floating energy (magenta, big surprise! lol) to them.  I easily noticed the feel of the reiki today.  When I felt the flow end, I asked my pendulum if I had sent enough.  I got an immediate yes.  I asked if I needed to send any more today and got and immediate no.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was about 7 minutes.  I feel they are receiving the reiki easier each day and thus the sessions are less intense.  I feel this is a good thing.  I feel really good about what I am doing and how I am doing it.  I will do a meditation soon and ask my higher self about my progress.   

Thank you to all who are reading this and keeping up on my progress.  Thank you for your love and support!  =)

March 7, 2013 - Day 11 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer & nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), Fluorite (nearby), Apophyllite (wearing around neck)

Today I tried the Kundalini Reiki way for doing a distance healing on him and his wife.  I had just received my Kundalini Reiki attunement this week.  The Kundalini Reiki sessions are much shorter than a typical reiki session, but the reiki continues to work after you stop channeling it.  I felt my hands get very warm today.  I definitely felt the reiki up my arms as well.  I felt very calm, peaceful and serene.  I saw scarlet roses (just the blooms) raining down on him and his wife.  She asked “Where is this all coming from?”  They were both looking around (their home maybe?) and up at the sky where the roses were falling from.  He was smiling and answered, “I don’t know.”   They felt happy though, and maybe a little excited.  I feel they might have been talking about money or abundance, but it is possible they were referring to the reiki or healing.  I have no way of knowing other than my psychic senses if they are noticing a difference in themselves and their lives.  I hope they are.  I truly do.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 7 minutes.

March 6, 2013 - Day 10 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Celestite (prayer), Clear quartz (nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), Labrodorite Sphere (nearby), Apophyllite (third eye)

This was another short session, but I feel it was a good one.  Well, every one is a good one!  =)  I did feel the reiki energy flow.  It was not too intense or warm.  I relaxed and let the reiki do its work.  While it flowed, I did put gold and white light into him.  I pictured my hands on his shoulders.  I placed a yellow rose in each of his chakras.  I put magenta light into her and placed a magenta rose in each of her chakras.  Then I wrapped her in a fuzzy baby pink blanket of love.  I placed a single white rose within each of their children (three).    I told him I forgive him, love him as a human being and as a divine being of light.  I pushed love out to them both, wishing them good things like joy and abundance.  It started to rain very light golden light onto all of us.  I watched the light surround them and then fill them, radiating out from them.  There was a large feeling of love and peace in this session.  There is always a feeling of love and peace, but today it felt deeper and stronger.  I also felt the reiki flowing from my heart chakra out to them as well.   It was such a neat feeling!  Soon, I felt the energy on my ankles instead of my hands.  I asked my pendulum if I had send enough reiki to them today and got a yes.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 12 minutes.  

March 5, 2013 - Day 9 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer), Clear quartz (nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), Apophyllite (third eye)

I am a little disappointed with today’s healing session.  I barely felt the reiki at all.  I did feel a lot of energy in and around my heart chakra.  I felt some energy on my hands but not much and it didn’t stay long.  After a very short time period I saw my guide tell me to stop.  So, I checked with my pendulum and asked if I did indeed feel the reiki flow stop and I got a yes.  I then asked if I had sent enough today and got a no.  I asked if I needed to send more and got a yes.  I am so confused because I saw my guide tell me to stop.  I continued to send more reiki, only focusing on him and his wife.  Instead of just letting the reiki flow this time, I drew down gold light and sent it into him and his wife.  After I did that, then I just relaxed and let the reiki do its thing.  I did feel my head get light, not as light as before though.  I did enter the dream like state and saw some faces I haven’t seen before.  I opened my eyes for a time and saw my ceiling turn a pretty blue.  I think that was Archangel Michael.  My vision did get funky and it looked like there was a heat wave on my ceiling.  It was like when you look down a road on a hot summer day and you can see the heat shimmer above the road in a blur.  After a while I thought I felt all the energy stop.  I mostly noticed the change in my heart chakra and head.  I asked my pendulum again if I had sent enough reiki today.  This time I got a yes.  I asked if I needed to send anymore today, and I got a no.  So, I finally blessed and sealed the session.  Today’s session was about 20 minutes. 

I am wondering if two things affected today’s session.  Last night I received my Kundalini Reiki I attunement.  It was an amazing experience and all night I felt the energy in and around my heart chakra, even while I was sleeping!  Today, I also was wearing my stone bracelets and my hematite necklace.  I am wondering if the stones in the jewelry kept me too grounded?  That is what I suspect but I am not positive.  What I am positive about is that he and his wife received the reiki nonetheless and it will heal them where they need it to on its own.  That is the beautiful thing about reiki.  =)

March 4, 2013 - Day 8 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer), Clear quartz (nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), Apophyllite (third eye)

Todays session was short but sweet.  I could definitely feel the reiki energy today.  Not only did I feel it on my hands, but I could feel it in my feet and around my ankles.  I was extremely calm and filled with peace.  Once I called in the reiki, I just focused on him and his wife and let it flow.  I pictured myself placing my hands on his shoulders and felt the reiki traveling through my arms and hands into him.  I did not try and do anything other then relax and let the reiki do its healing.  Although, I did send thoughts of forgiveness, love and gratitude to him, thanking him for the short time he did love me and for teaching me some hard life lessons.  I felt my head growing lighter and lighter, almost as if I was reaching higher steps of vibration, or awareness.  I felt myself in the dreamlike state and saw the top of a man’s face in the universe.  I saw stars and planets all around.  He had salt and pepper gray short curly hair and piercing blue eyes.  The bottom half of his face was blocked by a large planet.  I do not know who he is, but he was looking at me I feel.  The image faded as quickly as it came.  I saw my main reiki guide standing beside me, smiling.  She told me that what I was doing was good, and all I had to do was let the reiki flow, that I did not need to actively heal.  I think she was proud.  It wasn’t long before I felt an energy change on my hands, the pressure.  I used my apophyllite pendulum (I thought it was calcite but learned it is actually apophyllite!) to ask if I needed to send any more reiki to them today.  I got a no.  I then asked if the pressure change I felt on my hands was the reiki flow stopping.  I got a yes.  I sealed and blessed the session.  This session was approximately 10 minutes.  I am so grateful that my guides are patient.  I know they do not like me second guessing myself and asking the same questions repeatedly because of doubt.  I  know this is something I must work on.  

March 3, 2013 - Day 7 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Clear quartz (nearby), Crazy lace agate (nearby), Carnelian (nearby), Calcite (nearby), Apophyllite (third eye)

Today I felt the need to do my session later in the day.  So, I waited until much later in the afternoon before doing the session.  When I started, I was standing in my river again.  This time he and his wife we’re there, waiting for me along with my reiki guide and main guide.  Once I saw them, they stepped forward holding out their hands palms up.  I placed my hands above theirs, letting the reiki flow from my hands into theirs.  The reiki was bright white and sparkling.  It flowed into them easily and they soaked it up like sponges.  I had them lay down in the river on their backs side by side holding hands.  The river was shallow enough that their faces were not under water.  I placed my hands in the water above their heads.  The white sparkling light flowed from my hands into the water, flowing into them.  It swirled and let the water carry it.  The white light surrounded them and washed away black ink from them.  I then placed my hands on his shoulders, focusing on him.  My reiki guide did the same to his wife.  After a little while, I had them move to lie on the shore with their feet still in the water.  I continued sending reiki through them.  I felt discomfort in my throat area and so I focused on his throat chakra.  I saw the same black crack and lines I had seen before, although they were not as dark this time.  I filled them with the white light and surrounded his throat chakra in white light.  The discomfort faded.  Then golden light came down and begin to flow into and around them.  I relaxed even more and let the reiki flow.   I handed him another yellow rose, planting it in his heart.  I saw it grow, vines growing out of and around his heart.  I felt myself reaching higher vibrations.  My head became light and I entered that dream like state of meditation.  It felt like I was sleeping, but was still aware of what I was doing and where I was.  I started to see images, but I do not recall all of them.  They are so fast!  I do remember seeing butterfly wings pulsating with energy.  I saw a face that did not look human watching me.  It was alien looking but I was not frightened.  It was a strange face and difficult to describe.  It made me think of moth men, but with butterfly wings instead of moth wings.  The thought of moth men brought a little fear up, but I pushed it aside, trusting the reiki and my guides.  I also saw red light and it began to flow into them.  I continued to surrender to the reiki, trying not to pull back from the higher vibrations I was feeling.  I focused on my intent of sending love, forgiveness, gratitude, joy, abundance, and light.  This made me feel my head get even lighter.  Then my reiki guide and main guide each took one of my hands and took me up into the sky with them.  They did not speak, but I felt telepathically from them that I could heal from higher up.  This made me smile and I was excited to try.  We stopped way up high in the sky, looking down at him and her, kneeling on the shore of the river.  I held my hands out palm down and white and gold light flowed down.  My main guide smiled brightly at me and placed one of his hands on top of one of mine.  The light turned into a rainbow and glowed brighter.  I felt a lot of joy in my heart and more stated than asked, “You are sending healing too?”  He just nodded and continued smiling.  I know my reiki guide was sending healing too.  I felt such a sensation of peace and joy working with both of them.  After a little while I thought of my higher self and saw her face.  I tried to dismiss it as I thought I had not reached a high enough vibration to see her or converse with her.  She shook her head and said, “No, it’s really me,” and something along the lines of I am doing great or yes I really was at a high vibration.  She was pleased with my progress on my assignment and was encouraging me to stick with it and not to falter.  I began to doze in the dreamlike state but then I heard a voice, it sounded like mine but I was not speaking I don’t think.  The voice said, “I saw the child again.”  It was saying more but I do not know what.  I sort of woke up and missed it.  I focused again on the reiki, focusing my intent on him and her.  A little more time went by with nothing in particular happening.  Soon, I felt the familiar change of force on my hands, the energy being blocked, or cooling.  I kept going, wanting to make sure if the reiki was still flowing I did not interrupt it.  A part of me is still insecure about what I am capable of, and so I still second guess myself a lot.  I know this is something my guides want me to work on and fix as well.  I then heard my main reiki guide say “You can stop now.”  To be sure, I asked my main guide to let me know when to stop.  He told me to stop right away.  I blessed and sealed the session.  I feel very calm, warm, and relaxed.  I feel excited that I am reaching higher vibrations during my sessions.  I can feel and see the progress I am making.  Having another butterfly experience makes me laugh.   They keep popping up for me!  Even a new stone I bought today that really called to me has a correlation to butterflies.  I bought a piece of crazy lace agate.  I was researching its properties and such and laughed out loud when I read that it can be used in devotions to the Aztec Butterfly Goddess, Itzpapaloti.  This session was approximately 20 minutes.

Receiving Answers in Meditation

I just finished my morning shielding and grounding meditation.  I usually wait until I am ready to do my daily reiki healing and forgiveness session before I shield and ground.  However, this morning I am feeling excited and ready to draw some daily cards and do other spiritual work.  So, I listened to the nudging prodding me and did my meditation early.  

Before I go into what I experienced in the meditation, I want to give you a little background.  For a very long time, almost a year, I have been receiving messages from my guides and in readings to reconnect with my inner child.  I have been hearing the message, but have been drawing blanks as how to go about doing this.  I have asked others for advice and asked myself many times what I should do to accomplish this.  I kept being told, and receiving the message that I need to play more, to "play".  I've tried and tried to play with the awe and wonder of a child, but still was not connecting with my inner child.  I realize now as I am writing this entry, that I never properly asked my guides or angels to help me with this, until recently.  In my prayers, I have been asking for all kinds of help, but never asked to be shown how to reconnect with my inner child.  Just the other day, I asked my higher self to show me the way, and I asked the universe as well.  

Now, about my meditation...  Bright white light surrounded me, shining down on me.  It filled all of my chakras and expanded out from me.  I pressed the white light out into a large bubble all around me.  My feet were resting on smooth small stones in the bottom of a shallow river.  I could feel the cool water gently moving by.  The Earth's energy rose from the river up my legs and into my lower chakras, grounding me.  I drew down green light and then pink, followed by a whole rainbow.  I painted the white bubble around me with all different colors.  The colored light surrounded me, filling my bubble with swirling colors.  I saw my guides around me, smiling, encouraging.  Once my shielding and grounding was complete, I started running through the river.  I playfully splashed me guides and they laughed.  I called my mink animal totem to me, to show me how to play.  My mink came running out of the trees and leaped into the water.  Mid-jump, the mink transformed into an otter.  It swam past me chattering at me happily.  It floated over a deep, very deep, part of the river and I dove into the water after it.  We both dove deep swimming in the deep dark cool water.  I chased the otter, and it was fun.  I swam to the bottom of the pool and pressed my hands into the sand, pulling out handfuls.  I swam to the surface and held my hands together, and opened them.  I stared at the muddy sand in my hands, watching the sunlight glint and sparkle of flecks of gold and other minerals in it.  I just thought it was beautiful.  I rinsed my hands in the water and then splashed, laughing at my otter.  I felt eyes on me, and my eyes went to the source instinctively.  I saw a small, but wide and round, pair of white eyes watching me from the foliage, hidden in shadow within the forest line.  I could see the small outline of a small humanoid, but it was camouflaged very well.  It looked wild and savage with mud painted on its skin and plants and leaves in and on its hair and body.  My main reiki guide was suddenly standing next to me, but standing on the water.  She reached down and offered me a hand.  I took her hand and she pulled me up out of the river to stand with her on the river.  We both looked at the creature together.  It was a child.  She stepped back into the protective darkness of the forest and disappeared.  I knew instantly that it was my inner child!  My reiki guide wrapped a large soft terry cloth white robe around my wet body and rubbed my arms.  We hugged ,both smiling and we kissed each other's cheeks.  She then held my face gently with one hand and gave me some clarity I had asked for last night in reference to some cards I had drawn for myself.  I am very grateful she gave me that clarity.  It will help me stay on track and plow ahead!  I held out my hand and handed her a beautiful butterfly.  She smiled, holding it for just a moment and then lifted her hand, sending it flying and we watched it together.  We looked at each other again and she handed me a small glowing heart.  It looked just like the same glowing heart I gave her when I first met her.  I felt my main guide's presence behind me and turned around to give him a big hug.  He hugged me smiling.  I just basked in the warmth of the sun and their unconditional love for a while.  Then I walked away to return, my main guide holding my hand and slowly releasing it as I stepped away.  I love my guides.  They don't speak very much sometimes, but I am grateful for their presence and the loving energy they surround me in.  

So, through my intuition and guides, I now know that I need to do a lot more than just reconnect with my inner child and "play".  She is wild, savage, alone, and primal.  I need to save her, heal her.  The damage done to her is quite evident now.  I knew she needed nurturing and love and that I needed to play more.  I've always known that.  I had no idea of the extent of the damage done to her...  I am very grateful I saw a glimpse of her.  I am grateful my higher self and the universe and my guides have presented the beginning of an answer to me.  It may not seem like a real answer to some of you.  But I was so lost and confused about this before, that this is a lot to me right now.  I am going to continue to focus primarily on my main assignment from my higher self, but the wheels are turning setting things up for my next assignment, or task. Before we can truly heal others, we must heal ourselves.  I need a lot of healing!  I do not let this hamper me from helping others though.  I still heal others and do what I can!  Once I am healed though, I feel I will be on a higher vibration and able to help others more effectively. Anyway, this was such an important and prominent thing for my growth, my steps forward on my path, I had to share with you all.  :)  

Love Light Peace
Bear Raven

March 2, 2013 - Day 6 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals Used – Angelite (prayer), Apophyllite (nearby pointed at me), Clear quartz wrapped in copper (nearby pointed at calcite point), Calcite (third eye)

This reiki session was very quiet in all aspects.  I was very calm and a little tired before I started.  I am even sleepier and calmer after.  I did not feel the reiki right away when I called it in.  It took a while before I felt the energy on my hands, and it was very soft and mild.  I saw purple and white light flowing to him and his wife.  The energy light focused on filling his third eye and crown, making them burst with light like fireworks.  I was drawn to her energy a lot more today and focused on her.  When I focused on her, bright deep magenta light flooded through me to her, washing over her and filling her up.  The magenta did not seem to flow to him at all.  It feels like he did not need magenta, but she needed a lot of it.  I was drawn to her back and heart chakra.  I did not actively do much today, just let the reiki flow and do its thing.  I dozed off some and saw flashes of images.  I don’t remember much of them.  I saw him in a bathtub, relaxing.  I saw her with tears on her cheeks and swollen eyes.  She had been crying for a long time.  It felt like healing crying.  Her cheeks were round and plump, but oval.  She had wire curly hair tied up in a loose bun.  Her face was very oval also.  This was my first time seeing any details of her. All the other times I have seen her, has been just vague glimpses of a female.  I sent them pink and white hearts.  I let the reiki flow for a long time, while fighting to stay awake.  The longer the session went, the lighter my head became.  I reinforced the roots around my legs to help ground me more.  The lightness in my head made me more tired.  After some time, I felt a slight change on my hands, resistance to the energy.  I used my calcite pendulum to ask my main reiki guide if I had sent enough reiki to them today.  I got a yes.  I asked if I needed to send more to them today, and got no.  I had a hard time focusing today, but I am glad reiki works the way it does.  As long as you just call it in and open yourself to channeling it, the reiki will do the rest.  I blessed and sealed the session.  This session was approximately 30 minutes.

March 1, 2013 - Day 5 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer), Calcite (nearby), Apophyllite (third eye)

Today the reiki was bright white.  I also sent purple light for protection, and pink light for love.  I saw white and golden hearts the size of basketballs flowing from me to him and his wife.  I felt very calm and was in a dream like state.  I handed him a yellow rose.  Then I handed him a violet parakeet.  At this time my hands started to tingle a lot.  It was the strongest tingling I have felt while channeling reiki so far. I saw a giant butterfly come flying down and land beside me.  I was standing in a clearing.  One of its large eyes watched me.  It felt old, wise, loving.  Its body was covered in long fur that was soft to my touch.  I asked if it was one of my guides.  Its eye just watched me and it remained silent, but I felt like it was thinking, “you already know, you don’t need to ask.”  I felt it wanting me to climb on its back.  I think there might have even been a saddle and/ or leather reins.  I wanted to get on him, but I wanted to focus on channeling the reiki, so I didn’t.  Then he and his wife were standing in a shallow river with me, bare foot.  I put my hands in the water, white reiki energy swirling from them.  I filled an abalone shell with the reiki charged water and handed it to him.  He drank from it, then he handed it to his wife, and she drank.  They were smiling. Then I saw him look right at me, and I felt he knew I was sending him energy.  He said thank you.  This surprised me a little, but his crown and third eye chakra were very bright.  So, part of me is not surprised at all.  I feel like I might have messed the session up, because I felt rushed and so was waiting for it to end.  I saw my reiki guide bring her hands down on top of mine, but it didn’t feel like the session was done.  I saw her do it again and so I used my calcite pendulum and asked her if I had sent enough today.  I got a no.  I continued to channel more reiki, focusing more on channeling it to him and his wife.  I put my hands on his shoulders and focused, letting the white light fill and surround him.  After a few minutes (I’m estimating), I felt the energy change on my hands, like they got colder or the sensation I was feeling stopped.  I asked my reiki guide through my pendulum again if I had sent enough reiki to them today.  This time I got a yes.  I blessed and sealed the session.  I feel like because I was rushed, I imagined seeing my guide put her hands down on top of mine, or I feel she is trying to teach me to feel for myself when a reiki session is done, with my hands.  This session was approximately 23 minutes.

February 28, 2013 - Day 4 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Celestite, calcite, bloodstone, petrified wood (all nearby), Apophyllite (third eye)

Today water was very prominent in my clearing, shielding and in this reiki session.  Again when I called in the reiki, I felt it on my hands.  I love feeling it and knowing it is the reiki.  It seems like I am becoming more sensitive to sensing it.  Royal blue light flowed through me like water to him and his wife today.  The light felt light water and sounded like water.  It was so beautiful.  I held my hands over his crown chakra and the light poured through him like water.  I was drawn to his throat chakra and saw little black imps (a bunch of 12 or so tiny little things) running and jumping around in the chakra like it was a playground.  The royal blue light flushed them out like a powerful wave.  Archangel Raphael was waiting with an open lavender bag, which they were flushed into.  Archangel Raphael held the opening of the bag up and a bright light appeared from within the bag and the imps were pretty much dusted into sparkles of light from it.  Then Raphael smiled at me.  The blue light filled the throat chakra and surrounded it.  Then I was drawn to his third eye and the light changed to light powder blue.  It still flowed like water and it filled and surrounded his third eye chakra.  Immediately I saw a blue orb deep inside the throat chakra with lines in it.  I knew right away what this was.  One of the healing methods I use is grid work.  I picture an orb at the point where the healing is needed and the orb has lines in it.  The color of the lines shows me what needs healing.  Black and red lines are bad and need healing.  All other colors are good.  Some of the lines in this orb were white.  I noticed a large black crack through the entire orb that was at a diagonal angle.  I filled it with the powder blue light and searched the orb for more lines.  I filled all the black lines I found with the powder blue light.  Once the outer shell had no more black lines, or crack.  I peeled it away to work on the next layer.  The black crack was there again.  I put the healing blue light into it and all other black lines.  When I was done with that layer, I peeled it back.  Inside was a glowing deep blue ball of light (looks just like the throat chakra).  The powder blue light filled it and surrounded it.  I closed all the layers and surrounded the entire orb in more blue light.  Then I put a white shield of light around it.  As I worked on this grid healing, my main reiki guide clapped excitedly.  So, I think she was very happy with this. I went to put my hands over his wife’s crown and work on her, but my guides showed me that it wasn’t necessary.  I saw their hands holding and all the light energy I was putting into him was flowing into her as well.  I continued to focus on him and just let the reiki flow.  The powder blue light filled and surrounded his lungs and his sinus cavity.  I heard and felt him take a deep breath, and he smiled.  He could breath easier.  I gave him a yellow rose, putting it in his heart chakra.  I then saw him laying on a bed of yellow roses and smiling, laughing.  A single butterfly flew down and landed on the tip of his nose briefly, then flew away.  He watched it laughing more.  I saw him and his wife running into waves at a beach with the sun shining brightly down.  I saw the blue light wrap around their hands and wrists that were holding each other like bands, or a piece of cloth.  I saw them standing no where, like in blackness, holding hands still.  There was a ball of light ahead of them, a sun.  They took one step together toward it.  I saw a flock of butterflies fly in a swirl out of no where and they all landed on her back, forming butterfly wings.  I think they were matriarch butterflies.  That’s what they looked like.  I saw blue and black colored butterflies (a smaller amount of them) fly in a group and form a sword at his hip.  They both continued looking forward to the sun and seemed like preparing to take another step forward.  I strongly feel their marriage is or has, been rocky and my healing sessions are healing their relationship in some way.  Now, I have never met his wife or know her.  I have not talked to him at all so I know nothing about their marriage or lives.  This is all what my intuition is telling me.  My head became light and I asked if I could stop.  My reiki guide encouraged me to keep going.  So, I let the reiki flow until I felt an energy change on my hands.  Then I blessed and sealed the session.  I used my calcite pendulum to confirm I had indeed sent them enough reiki healing today.  I feel this was a very intense and strong session.  It was surprisingly short, but my guide insists it was enough for today.  I look forward to tomorrow’s session greatly.  This session was about 17 minutes long.

February 27, 2013 - Day 3 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Selenite (prayer and nearby), Calcite (nearby), Apophyllite (third eye)

Today was the calmest reiki session thus far.  While I was drumming to clear the energy and call in guides and angels, I saw many spirits, all Native American, dancing in a circle around me at the edge of my protective circle.  My Native American guide stood close to me and just watched, smiling.  When I called in the reiki, I felt an energy change on my hands right away.  I don’t think that’s happened before.  It was very slight and mild, but noticeable.  I felt very calm and peaceful throughout the session.  It was so peaceful I started to doze off, but the energy never stopped flowing.  I can’t remember for sure what color I started with.  I think it was gold or white.  The light turned to baby pink and intensified into a bright magenta.  It flowed in large waves into both of them.  I then saw them eating and the magenta light flowed into their food as little hearts and I saw the hearts in their spoons as they ate.  I did feel a lot of energy in and around my head.  I wasn’t sure if I could handle it, but I saw my hands and saw my reiki guides' hands gently push on the back of them with her palms and she told me to keep going.  I left myself open to keep channeling the reiki.  I didn’t see anything else, just had a very strong feeling of calm, peace and serenity.  When it was time to stop, she told me so.  After blessing and sealing the session, I confirmed with my calcite pendulum that I had sent enough reiki to them today and am doing my assignment as intended by my higher self.  This was the shortest session thus far, only 14 minutes.  My intuition is telling me the durations will continue to vary depending on what they need each day.

February 26, 2013 - Day 2 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Kyanite (nearby) and Apophyllite (third eye during reiki)

I didn’t feel anything on my hands at first.  It took a little while before I noticed heat on them.  Purple energy flooded through me to them.  I used the purple energy like a cleaning cloth in waves, pulling out black ink.  The purple energy dropped in a large bowl of water, leaving the black ink behind.  The energy cleaned all around both of them then went in them pulling negativity out.  When all negativity had been removed, Archangel Raphael and another angel, Michael possibly, dumped the bowl into a purple bag and dissolved the negativity into light.  The water went right through the bag and dropping into the earth.  Bright yellow, golden light and white light poured down through me next.  It was so bright.  I started to feel heat all over my body.  My arms and hands started to tingle.  I felt as if I was sitting out in the bright sun.  I saw the energy flowing to them and I put my hands over his crown, letting the reiki flow.  I started to see flashes of light behind my eyes and movement again.  I saw a butterfly.  Then butterflies started flying all around him and his wife.  There were hundreds, maybe thousands.  They flew in a spiral all around them.  I kept seeing butterflies behind my eyes as well.  They we’re shadows, and I could only make out the outline.  I saw more movement, like energy pulsing through me, or waves of energy.  I saw a shadow of a being to my right and sensed a presence there.  I do not know if it was a guide or who, but just sensed them there watching me.  The heat became very intense but my reiki guide encouraged me to keep going. I saw a liver and black spots on it.  The spots filled with white light and glowed.  I saw a woman in a bed on her stomach, half on her side, holding her side of her stomach and crying in agonizing pain.  I saw the reiki go into his bones, especially his feet.  I also saw yellow energy go into the solar plexus chakra, making it grow and glow bright orange.  I put two large heart bubbles of white around him and his wife, the two hearts connected at the middle.  Then a bolt of white lightning came down right in the center of the hearts.  The white and gold light jumped to three smaller forms and formed heart shields around them; these are the children I feel.  I saw my reiki guide put her hands on top of mine and felt resistance on my hands, blocking of energy.  This was when I knew to end the session.  This was another intense session.  What I felt seemed more intense.  Yesterday, I think what they felt was more intense.  I feel very peaceful and calm.  I am happy and hopeful that the reiki is already helping them a lot.  The session was approximately 20 minutes.

Notes:  Later this day (late at night) I learned that butterflies symbolize new beginnings, letting go of the old and embracing the new, metamorphosis.

Just tonight (as I am posting these journal entries) I learned butterflies can also be a sign of an Archangel.  :)

February 25, 2013 - Day 1 Reiki Healing & Forgiveness

Crystals used – Ametrine (nearby) Apophyllite (third eye during reiki)

My hands became very warm and eventually hot.  I sent pink and green energy swirled together.  I sent a large wave of green followed by waves of deep blue.  I started on him, with my hands on his crown.  His crown opened hesitantly to the light but it bloomed into a dark purple looking daisy.  It was beautiful.  I sensed he noticed something and felt it.  I then focused on his third eye. I tried a couple hand positions on him, first over his eyes, then ears.  Then put my hands on his shoulders, sending the reiki through him.  I saw one of my guides, my main Reiki guide I believe, holding his feet and sending energy up them.  I pictured him holding hands with his wife and the energy enveloping both of them and spreading to their children (if they have some).  I just relaxed and let the energy flow.  After some time I began to see movement and then I saw large almond eyes, a scary looking (but small) face that felt very negative.  I had the reiki remove it and it was followed by another scary face but larger.  I think I saw Raphael assisting in the removal of these, sucking them into a purple bag.  A few moments later I felt a significant pressure change in my right ear and heard a large boom, like a plane flying overhead but magnified.  I opened my eyes and continued to let the reiki flow as I still felt it in my hands.  Soon though, I felt it changing slightly but still there and then I saw hands coming down gently on top of mine.  This told me it was time to stop.  I put a white heart shield around him and his wife and a white bubble around me as I sealed the energy and closed the session.  I had a lot of resonant energy on my hands and grounding helped but I could still feel it strongly as I ran my hands under water.  It was an intense first session, but I feel good.  I feel the healing is very much needed, more so than I expected.  The session took approximately 30-40 minutes.

Intro

Hello and welcome to my first blog.  I am on my journey for spiritual growth as we all are...  I have quite some hurdles to jump over and my spirit guides motivated me to share some of my experiences with the world.  I am in the middle of a large healing process at the moment.  I am working on an assignment from my higher self.  The assignment she gave me is to send energy healing, love, and forgiveness to an ex-boyfriend of mine and his wife for 30 consecutive days.  I started a journal with the process.  I am kick starting this blog with those journal entries and will continue to share them daily.  These are rough journal entries that I typed up quickly right after my sessions.  So, please excuse them being in note form.  I hope that by sharing these I may touch at least one life out there.  

Love, Light, Peace

Bear Raven