I just finished my morning shielding and grounding meditation. I usually wait until I am ready to do my daily reiki healing and forgiveness session before I shield and ground. However, this morning I am feeling excited and ready to draw some daily cards and do other spiritual work. So, I listened to the nudging prodding me and did my meditation early.
Before I go into what I experienced in the meditation, I want to give you a little background. For a very long time, almost a year, I have been receiving messages from my guides and in readings to reconnect with my inner child. I have been hearing the message, but have been drawing blanks as how to go about doing this. I have asked others for advice and asked myself many times what I should do to accomplish this. I kept being told, and receiving the message that I need to play more, to "play". I've tried and tried to play with the awe and wonder of a child, but still was not connecting with my inner child. I realize now as I am writing this entry, that I never properly asked my guides or angels to help me with this, until recently. In my prayers, I have been asking for all kinds of help, but never asked to be shown how to reconnect with my inner child. Just the other day, I asked my higher self to show me the way, and I asked the universe as well.
Now, about my meditation... Bright white light surrounded me, shining down on me. It filled all of my chakras and expanded out from me. I pressed the white light out into a large bubble all around me. My feet were resting on smooth small stones in the bottom of a shallow river. I could feel the cool water gently moving by. The Earth's energy rose from the river up my legs and into my lower chakras, grounding me. I drew down green light and then pink, followed by a whole rainbow. I painted the white bubble around me with all different colors. The colored light surrounded me, filling my bubble with swirling colors. I saw my guides around me, smiling, encouraging. Once my shielding and grounding was complete, I started running through the river. I playfully splashed me guides and they laughed. I called my mink animal totem to me, to show me how to play. My mink came running out of the trees and leaped into the water. Mid-jump, the mink transformed into an otter. It swam past me chattering at me happily. It floated over a deep, very deep, part of the river and I dove into the water after it. We both dove deep swimming in the deep dark cool water. I chased the otter, and it was fun. I swam to the bottom of the pool and pressed my hands into the sand, pulling out handfuls. I swam to the surface and held my hands together, and opened them. I stared at the muddy sand in my hands, watching the sunlight glint and sparkle of flecks of gold and other minerals in it. I just thought it was beautiful. I rinsed my hands in the water and then splashed, laughing at my otter. I felt eyes on me, and my eyes went to the source instinctively. I saw a small, but wide and round, pair of white eyes watching me from the foliage, hidden in shadow within the forest line. I could see the small outline of a small humanoid, but it was camouflaged very well. It looked wild and savage with mud painted on its skin and plants and leaves in and on its hair and body. My main reiki guide was suddenly standing next to me, but standing on the water. She reached down and offered me a hand. I took her hand and she pulled me up out of the river to stand with her on the river. We both looked at the creature together. It was a child. She stepped back into the protective darkness of the forest and disappeared. I knew instantly that it was my inner child! My reiki guide wrapped a large soft terry cloth white robe around my wet body and rubbed my arms. We hugged ,both smiling and we kissed each other's cheeks. She then held my face gently with one hand and gave me some clarity I had asked for last night in reference to some cards I had drawn for myself. I am very grateful she gave me that clarity. It will help me stay on track and plow ahead! I held out my hand and handed her a beautiful butterfly. She smiled, holding it for just a moment and then lifted her hand, sending it flying and we watched it together. We looked at each other again and she handed me a small glowing heart. It looked just like the same glowing heart I gave her when I first met her. I felt my main guide's presence behind me and turned around to give him a big hug. He hugged me smiling. I just basked in the warmth of the sun and their unconditional love for a while. Then I walked away to return, my main guide holding my hand and slowly releasing it as I stepped away. I love my guides. They don't speak very much sometimes, but I am grateful for their presence and the loving energy they surround me in.
So, through my intuition and guides, I now know that I need to do a lot more than just reconnect with my inner child and "play". She is wild, savage, alone, and primal. I need to save her, heal her. The damage done to her is quite evident now. I knew she needed nurturing and love and that I needed to play more. I've always known that. I had no idea of the extent of the damage done to her... I am very grateful I saw a glimpse of her. I am grateful my higher self and the universe and my guides have presented the beginning of an answer to me. It may not seem like a real answer to some of you. But I was so lost and confused about this before, that this is a lot to me right now. I am going to continue to focus primarily on my main assignment from my higher self, but the wheels are turning setting things up for my next assignment, or task. Before we can truly heal others, we must heal ourselves. I need a lot of healing! I do not let this hamper me from helping others though. I still heal others and do what I can! Once I am healed though, I feel I will be on a higher vibration and able to help others more effectively. Anyway, this was such an important and prominent thing for my growth, my steps forward on my path, I had to share with you all. :)
Love Light Peace
Bear Raven
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